Alien vs. Alien | ||||||||
Gini Koch | ||||||||
DAW, 512 pages | ||||||||
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A review by Michael M Jones
No, seriously. For Kitty, an average day consists of political intrigue in the morning, monster-fighting in the afternoon,
and saving the world in the evening, with the occasional break to cuddle with her husband or take care of her daughter
(who also rocks the massive psychic powers).
This, friends, is Alien Vs. Alien, sixth in Gini Koch's screwball series. It's a science fiction romantic comedy
if done with an unlimited budget and absolutely no restraint. Just explaining it is enough to give me a headache and make
me reach for the whiskey. But let me explain why this series, and this book in particular, is awesome brain candy.
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Kitty met Jeff when she killed a superhuman monster with a ballpoint pen. Despite him being an alien, they soon fell in
love while repeatedly kicking ass and saving the world from more monsters and other aliens. Eventually, they got married,
and Las Vegas was never the same. Along the way, Kitty became the A-C-head of Airborne Division, because someone
thought it was a good idea to give her control over people with F-16s. After that, they decided she could do more good
(or harm) as an Ambassador, and they sent her and Jeff to D.C. where they could make friends and blow up enemies. Demonstrating
a remarkable ability to make friends, Kitty has managed to add an average of six new characters to the supporting cast
with each book, including hairdressers, paparazzi, college football players, and so on. Her best friend is a high-ranking
CIA agent and paranoid conspiracy theorist. Her best gay friend is a former male model turned secret agent. Her best
sorority gal-pal is the daughter of a now-deceased super villain. Her mom's with a secret counter-terrorism unit. Her
in-laws are from an entirely different solar system. She's good friends with a godlike artificial intelligence named
ACE, which thinks of us as penguins. At any given time, there are approximately thirty people running around, all doing... stuff.
With me?
Look, I'm sorry. I needed to put this book in context. It starts with someone trying to blackmail Kitty with doctored
sex photos, and rapidly gets weirder. There's the overly-chatty, overly-possessive African Grey Parrot which may actually
hold the secrets to a deceased bad guy's evil plan. There's the introduction of sentient, psychic, invisible alien
peacocks. There's an entirely new alien race that's really torqued at Earth for inexplicable reasons. There's a secret
enclave of hackers hidden on a military compound. There's an extended and bizarre sequence where elaborate parallels are
drawn between the cast and various superheroes. There's...
I'm sorry, friends. I can't do this. I tried to explain this series to the cats. One horked up a hairball and left,
one started grooming himself, the others just left outright. I tried explaining this series to my wife, and she asked if
I was feeling okay. I tried describing it to random bystanders, and now I have three new restraining orders. This
series defies description.
So let me approach it from a different direction. Have you ever wanted madcap, over-the-top, no-holds-barred,
sanity-defying, increasingly-bizarre science fiction romantic comedy? I mean, utter wish fulfillment brain fodder? A
series that wholly embraces the absurd, and approaches each new level of WTF as a challenge to be overcome and beaten
into the ground? Are you looking for a series that loves classic rock n' roll and worships Aerosmith? A series that
grooves on comic books and pop culture ephemera? A series that features a woman in t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers on
the cover? (Yes. Sensible attire. Jim C. Hines, you won't have to hurt yourself too badly for these covers.)
This is that series. And if you don't like those things... what's wrong with you?
I kid. Obviously, this series isn't for everyone. It's information-dense and character-heavy, with plots that
occasionally meander, and I couldn't in good faith recommend Alien Vs. Alien to someone who hadn't read the first five
installments. It takes a certain mindset to accept the level of hyperactive camp infused into every aspect of these
books. You also have to be willing to overlook, or at least accept, that fact that the male lead is portrayed as one
of those immensely self-confident alpha male jerks with a raging streak of jealousy and possessiveness, and you have
to accept that the female lead loves him without reservation, and far better people than I have already had this discussion.
But! This series also has major supporting characters of color and queerness, and they are awesome in their own
right. You can't fault Gini Koch for striving for inclusion of everyone, even bird-aliens and the occasional alligator...
And thusly, I do apologize. I wanted to talk about Alien Vs. Alien, but it seems that talking about the one book on its own
is near-impossible without bringing it into context as part of a larger series, and that may be its greatest flaw. I
love these books, as a guilty pleasure that gets exponentially weirder and wackier with each installment, but they
really are a challenge at times.
Now then, I believe I need a few drinks to clear my head.
Michael M Jones enjoys an addiction to books, for which he's glad there is no cure. He lives with his very patient wife (who doesn't complain about books taking over the house... much), eight cats, and a large plaster penguin that once tasted blood and enjoyed it. A prophecy states that when Michael finishes reading everything on his list, he'll finally die. He aims to be immortal. |
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