| Last Sons | ||||||
| Alan Grant | ||||||
| Warner Books, 336 pages | ||||||
| A review by Nathan Brazil
The premise features a Living Monolith character, uninspiringly called the Alpha, who intends to destroy all inferior life forms
in the universe, just as soon as it has collected the last sons of those races that have already perished. The purpose of this
collection, and I'm not kidding here, is to drain their emotional energies to use as a weapon. Thus do we find J'onn J'onzz,
the Martian Manhunter and last son of the red planet, teamed with Superman, the last son of Krypton, and the cosmic bounty
hunter Lobo, who is the last son of Czarnia. This trio are soon embroiled in a plot so poor, it makes the average episode
of The Muppet Show seem like Shakespeare. The Alpha uses the ploy of having galactic authorities issue a false
arrest warrant for the Martian Manhunter, and hires Lobo to go fetch him. Naturally, J'onn J'onzz realises it must be a horrible
mistake, and lets himself be taken into Lobo's custody. The pair then travel to the Vrk Imperium, which is where the warrant
originated. Unhappy with the situation, Superman tags along, clandestinely observing and eventually deciding that he should
help his old colleague out of a tight spot. But, the Alpha has planned for this, and in two shakes of a cat's tail, all three
of the Last Sons are held in cells which exploit their unique weaknesses, and at the same time, drain their emotional
energies. As might be expected, the trio break free, and set to work putting things right.
A large part of the problem here is choosing a third rate character as the lead. For those who may be unfamiliar with
him, Lobo is like a DNA splice of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin, a lobotomized space biker, and the early
Wolverine. That is to say, Wolverine before depth and maturity were used to shape him into the figure we know today. So
what we get are sequences of idiotic juvenile posturing, gratuitous swearing, and pointless violence from the
self-styled "Main Man." While Superman and the Martian Manhunter get to play naff supporting roles, alongside
Xemtex, a former villain, whose brain Lobo has imprisoned as the onboard AI of his Spazz-Frag 3000 space bike. Honestly,
I'm not making this up, it's that bad. Xemtex, Darlene the space-waitress, and Tartan Quarantino's bounty hunting agency
are all sub-plots which crash in and out of the main theme, as if the author was tired as a pack of geriatric hounds,
and really couldn't be bothered using his imagination. Even allowing for the handicap of Lobo as the lead
character, Last Sons came out as an ill conceived excuse to exploit famous names, and an opportunity missed by a country mile.
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