Besides its very cool illustrations and graphical layout, one way to figure out whether you're likely to enjoy the kind of stuff that appears in The 3rd Alternative -- a British mag edited by Andy Cox that also has as extensive web site [www.tta.press] containing content far beyond what most print publications attempt, in itself worth checking out -- is whether you can swallow the premise of Robert Wexler's "Tales of the Golden Legend" that loaves of bread can talk and certain people can hear them:

On the way home from work, I stopped to buy a loaf at a bakery near the office. I tried not to be overwhelmed by the bread sounds around me. The fat loaves of country white complained about the skinny onion baguettes, while a basket of whole wheat rolls laughed at its own jokes. I selected a loaf of something called struan. The label on the shelf said it was made from wheat, corn, oats, brown rice, bran, buttermilk, and honey. It laughed and talked at the same time, a lusty, world-loving voice full of confidence and mirth. I saw it entertaining the other loaves, whistling like the sound of a baroque flute. On the way home I bought a newspaper and some fresh mozzarella.

"You don't need cheese with me," the bread said from within the bag. I ignored it. We can't always do what the bread says.

David Soyka is a former journalist and college teacher who writes the occasional short story and freelance article. He makes a living writing corporate marketing communications, which is a kind of fiction without the art.