|Alien Vs. Predator (**)|
|Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson|
|Written Paul W.S. Anderson, based on characters created by H. R. Giger, Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, Jim Thomas, and John Thomas|
Very early in the film, if you watch closely, you catch a glimpse on a television screen of Bela Lugosi and Lon Chaney, Jr., icons of the
Universal horror films. Lon Chaney, Jr.'s last film (made in 1971!) was Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, reputed to be one of the dumbest films
ever made. It can't be much dumber than Alien Vs. Predator. I found myself wondering, as dim, indecipherable action flickered on the
screen, what Paul W.S. Anderson is thinking when he writes a line as dumb as, "The Aztecs used numbers based on ten, so I deduce that the
pyramid will reconfigure itself every ten minutes." There are so many problems with that line, I'll just mention one -- the minute
was invented by the Babylonians, who based their numbers on sixty. So, is Paul W.S. Anderson so stupid that he doesn't know a dumb
line when he writes one? Or does Paul W.S. Anderson know it is a dumb line, but thinks the audience is so stupid they won't know how
dumb the line is? A third possibility, the one I think most likely, is that Paul W.S. Anderson knows that the audience will realize
how dumb the line is, but doesn't care.
The middle hour of the movie is not worth watching, but in the last fifteen minutes, after all the other humans are done for and the
last human standing chooses sides, there is a certain amount of fun to be had.
No credit cookies.
The middle hour of the movie is not worth watching, but in the last fifteen minutes, after all the other humans are done for and the last human standing chooses sides, there is a certain amount of fun to be had.
No credit cookies.
Rick Norwood is a mathematician and writer whose small press publishing house, Manuscript Press, has published books by Hal Clement, R.A. Lafferty, and Hal Foster. He is also the editor of Comics Revue Monthly, which publishes such classic comic strips as Flash Gordon, Sky Masters, Modesty Blaise, Tarzan, Odd Bodkins, Casey Ruggles, The Phantom, Gasoline Alley, Krazy Kat, Alley Oop, Little Orphan Annie, Barnaby, Buz Sawyer, and Steve Canyon.
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