A Demon in the Knight: Newly Published

[rjt_author]

Hi all. I've just published my first short story with more soon to be on the way. Please take a peak at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/37122. I'm open for comments through my email provided through the links. Thanks!

[admin]

When you say you are open to comments by e-mail, I'm not sure whether you are also open to comments here. I wish you luck -- I'll check back from time to time and see if you've sold any copies of your e-book.

One suggestion on your opening paragraph. You give a lot of information, but no characterization or drama. You might have better success if you open on a dramatic moment that reveals character, and allow the background information to come out during the course of the story.