1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in common.
2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my condition.
The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!
Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that decision for me?
Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you views would be better.
:Sigh: What to do! What to do!
PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back to Joburg.
Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK IT!
PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from one day to the next!"