Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

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Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

Postby ChrisC » Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:22 am

1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in common.
2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my condition.

The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!

Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that decision for me?

Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you views would be better.

:Sigh: What to do! What to do!

PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back to Joburg.

Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK IT!

PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from one day to the next!"
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts."

Buddha in The Dhammapada.

ChrisC

http://www.buddhanet.net/
http://www.ubuntu.com/
ChrisC
 
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Location: Leigh on Sea, Essex, UK

Re: Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

Postby ChrisC » Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:15 am

I have now put in motion. A support group which meets every 3rd Saturday. However, the husband and wife who run the thing do so because there son is schizophrenic. So it's a charitable thing. So they have agreed to come round and talk to us both. Bearing in mind that these people have been dealing with these situations for over 20 years, this sounds promising.

What the hell, worth a shot don't you think everyone???
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts."

Buddha in The Dhammapada.

ChrisC

http://www.buddhanet.net/
http://www.ubuntu.com/
ChrisC
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:48 pm
Location: Leigh on Sea, Essex, UK

Re: Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

Postby admin » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:02 am

I think a support group is a great idea.

What is your citizenship? That might make a difference. Is moving the entire family to England a possibility? Would the medical care be better there?

The main thing right now is to stay on your meds as prescribed and have regular consultations with both a psychiatrist and, if possible, a psychologist.

I've gone to maybe twenty psychologists over the years. About half of them were really good, half worthless. On the other hand, the psychiatrists I've gone to have usually known what they were doing. Lacking access to a good psychologist, a support group can take up some of the slack, and is a good thing in its own right.

Hang in there.

Rick
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Re: Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

Postby ChrisC » Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:27 am

I'm definitely coming home to the UK. I have just resigned, I have to work my notice. My wife does not want to go to a support group. However this is not permanent. This is a trial separation. Go to the UK for at least 6 months to a year. Find out where my heart lies.

On a mental note. I feel strangely liberated.

Also me and my wife are still in love. I just need some cave time by the looks of it to sort my head out. Work out where I should be. Do I want and can I care for a family. It's been a very emotional decision to make for both me and her.
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts."

Buddha in The Dhammapada.

ChrisC

http://www.buddhanet.net/
http://www.ubuntu.com/
ChrisC
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:48 pm
Location: Leigh on Sea, Essex, UK


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