RESULTS OF F&SF COMPETITION #76
IN OUR last competition, entrants rewrote their favorite genre stories in the style of the author as a child. As you can see, some children were less mature (and therefore more entertaining) than others. We're giving the funny ones a gold star.
Special mention goes to Matthew King, whose entry almost but not quite mirrored the second place winner.
Dune, by Frank Herbert
Bad guys kill this kid's whole family, but he hooks up with the coolest guys on the planet: These bad-ass warriors in black leather cruising around the desert in boss dune buggies. No, wait! Better! They're cruising around the desert riding—GIANT WANGS!
—Matthew Sanborn Smith
Port St. Lucie, FL
Time Enough for Love, by Robert Heinlein
When I get older I'm going to be a soldier and fight in a war and come home and marry Mommy.
—Michael D. Turner
Colorado Springs, CO
"The Lurking Fear" by H. P. Lovecraft
Even now being a full ten years old, I can hear the creaking of the swings swaying back and forth as they break the laws of geometry invented by that Greek guy whose name I keep forgetting.
"I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison
My little brother bugs me all day when I am home from school. I hate him, but Mom says I shouldn't say things like that. So now I pretend I have no mouth and I scream as loud as I can with my mouth closed at my brother. Hah hah!
—Steven L. Rosenhaus
Forest Hills, NY
When Worlds Collide, by Philip Wylie
This big planet smacks into the Earth, splatt!! wham!! and the Earth explodes, wha-booom!! and everybody dies "oh no! oh no! aaaaaaa!! aaaaaaa!!" but these scientists built a spaceship, and everyone was like "let us on! let us on!" so they shot them, rattattatt!! and flew to the new planet, ka-whoosh!!
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
F&SF COMPETITION #77: FOUND IN TRANSLATION
Take a science fiction/fantasy story title and translate it into a different language. (We suggest you run potential titles through a translator like babelfish.yahoo.com.) Then rewrite the plot based on the new title, and make it as wacky as your imagination allows.
You have six chances to make us laugh. Make sure your entries are no more than fifty words apiece, and remember to include your address. Really. We mean it.
I, Robot by Isaac Asimov = Yo, Robusteza (Spanish)
Herbie the Robot noticed Susan Calvin was attracted to Milton Ashe. Herbie suggested Ashe might notice her if she were stronger, more robust. Or just had a larger bust.
Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794,
email entries to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net.
Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by November 15, 2008. Judges are the
editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.
First prize will receive a copy of Project Moonbase and Others, by Robert A. Heinlein, compliments of Subterranean Press.
Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels.
Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF.
Results of Competition #77 will appear in the April 2009 issue.