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Acetone Enema
Nicholas Alan Tillemans
Tillemans, 153 pages

Acetone Enema
Nicholas Alan Tillemans
Nicholas Alan Tillemans is a humorist and writer of extreme adult horror fiction. His provocative short horror stories have appeared online and in two print anthologies. His first published novella Hard Ball is a dark comedy with a large cast of crazed characters wading through an absurdist landscape where life is cheap. It stands in contrast with his horror stories, where the horror is more graphic and the humor less obvious.

Nicholas Alan Tillemans Website
ISFDB Bibliography

Past Feature Reviews
A review by Sandra Scholes

No one really knows what goes into the making of a novel or collection of short stories and poems, but Nicholas Alan Tillemans lets us into his own private world of getting published in his preface. Here he shares the ups and many downs of writing stories, in the vain hope someone will like them enough to publish them. From his college years to the present, his persistence is admirable, and many will empathise with his struggles, but here is his collection of short stories and poems which can only be described as very pocket sized and extremely controversial.

As you will no doubt get from this collection, the subject matter featured inside these pages is morbid but not in the Poe sense. The morbidity goes much deeper into the human psyche and questions the concept of right and wrong, morality and immorality. There are stories that will shock you, and at times disgust you; however, there is no doubt as to his writing skill, and ability to pull the reader into each of the tales, as one would be drawn through a door into separate interesting worlds.

In the book there are eight stories, and five poems placed between them to provide a series of interludes from the bizarre and unusual.

"Acetone Enema"

We might think we know people, even our friends, but when we sit and think about it, we don't know anyone, do we? This is certainly true of the man in this story. He professes his love for his girlfriend, but she isn't like other girls he has dated before, for one thing, she doesn't have a head. She was, he says born without one, and he has helped her to live as normal a life as she could. He did not plan falling for her, but he did. At first it is easy to be taken in by the narrator of the story until later when you realize how deranged he really is.

"The Purloined Lips of Destiny"

One man tries to get the interest of a woman he sees every day, but only from afar, Audrey. He studies her movements, yet he only asks her for a date once, and when she obliges him, going back to his place, he gets much more than he anticipated. Audrey, he finds, isn't the sort of woman he thought she was -- she has a little more in store for him than he was expecting. To give the character credit, he gives the relationship a chance, but like the other man in Tillemans's stories, he turns insane and goes on a rampage.

"The Mechanics of Perversion"

One man's life starts out ordinary until he takes up collecting antique objects, and one in particular takes his interest, and changes his life forever, but not necessarily for the better. As in "Linda's Miraculous Transformation," he has lost interest in sexual relations with his woman, mainly due to a situation he gets into where he has no other solution than to let the object take over his entire life. It is more a cautionary tale than anything else, be careful of buying any object without knowing its true history.

"Baby Hunter"

There are assassins who will be paid to track down and kill all kinds of enemies, but what happens when one crazy guy believes that babies are something that needs to be culled like animals to keep down the surplus population. This isn't a story for the feint of heart, much like most of these stories due to the subject matter. This character hates babies and children in general, seeing them as nothing more than leeches and a drain on society. Tillemans forms a well written story that, like the others can instil feelings of disgust, yet keep you reading.

"The Mound"

This is one story that stands out from the rest as it is collaboration with UK surrealist author and Editor Mike Philbin, and the only difference is with it being written in the third person perspective. It is one of the most original and unusual in the book as it shows how two men deal with a mound of earth in their back yards. The normalcy of it soon changes when they believe the mound is alive and can swallow humans. It's yet another offensive one due to who they feed to the ever swallowing mound, and just when you think something positive is going to happen, the story surprises you right at the end.

"Blind Feeling"

When having a wife isn't enough, another woman will do to take away the boredom of marriage. At least that is what the man in this tale feels. He is a real estate agent who lusts after a girl he works with at the firm. He has a son, Billy with his wife, but they have become estranged -- he no longer has any interest in her and takes every opportunity to sleep with Emily, his co-worker every chance he gets. Sarah and Billy are stricken with a disease, but she has no idea why it happens. It could be something her husband has done, but can't be sure. Blind Feeling is another that ranks high as a cautionary tale for men not to seek other women while still being married.

"Misfortune Smiles Too"

In the heat of the moment, one man discovers his inheritance is the contents of a lonely barn, inside it is a car that hasn't been touched for years, and something else that will chill the bones. While inside the car, he connects telepathically with his uncle who he thinks must have died in there. For old time's sake, he decides to go on a journey that could lead him to success or disaster, yet in theses stores, disaster often always strikes.

"Linda's Miraculous Transformation"

Kevin isn't satisfied with his lover. He would rather she was a few pounds lighter, and being the woman she is, she tries to appease him by counting the calories in the hope she can encourage her lover back to her bed. Kevin isn't the man she thought he was, and has affairs outside of their relationship he thinks she doesn't know about. He doesn't feel any remorse at what he does, and Tillemans gives a great first person account of what kind of man Kevin is, and the real evil of which he is capable.

Many of these stories sound like the mad ramblings of a serial killer, and you might be right, but they are designed to shock and offend. From a calculating killer to a Cthulhu style woman who lures men with her womanly charms, most of them are different but have underlying psychopathic elements that make it interesting to read as it is as though you are getting into the mind of the criminal.

Copyright © 2013 Sandra Scholes

Sandra Scholes has been published in The British Fantasy Society, Active Anime and Love Romance Passion, and hates snow above all else this time of year.

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