RESULTS OF F&SF COMPETITION #88
IN THIS competition, you were tasked with taking a popular science fiction/fantasy title, rearranging its letters, and creating a synopsis based on both the original and the new title. The results were fabulous—or as we call it now, "usual fob." Thanks to all who rearranged letters for the betterment of humor.
(A shout-out to the many, many, MANY of you who gave me Dune = Nude. It was, um, eye opening.)
Breaking Dawn = Bark, Gnaw, Die
When Edward gets the girl, Jacob takes his revenge by chewing up Edward's shoes, having "accidents" on the rug, and howling at all hours of the night.
North Ridgeville, OH
Ender's Game = Same Gender
Ender Wiggin, turned down for Battle School, becomes a writer. In adolescence, he has feelings that he can't deal with. He becomes a prominent homophobic author. His repressed homosexuality reveals itself when the title of his first novel is an anagram for "Greased Men."
Game of Thrones = O, Father's Gone, Ma
The Stark clan struggles with political intrigue in Westeros. SPOILER ALERT: Don't read the title.
Iowa Park, TX
The Lord of the Flies = The Lord of the Files
In a bureaucratic jungle, office workers must survive after the last coffee pot crashes on the floor. One of them receives a vision from the Lord of the Files who enlightens him with Dilbert comics.
The Sword in the Stone = The Tones in the Words
Merlin is so frustrated. Whatever he tries, the venerable wizard can't get rude young Arthur to say "Please," "Thank you," or anything else gentlemanly—not to mention kingly. If enchanting him temporarily into a fish hasn't improved his manners, what will?
Ill Met in Lankhmar = Alarm Hen Kill Mint
Poor Mint. I told him that gem merchants in this smoky city sometimes use watch leopards to guard their wares. But I forgot to tell him about the vicious alarm hens.
Blade Runner = Beerland Run (Kevin Hickey)
The Hunger Games = Reggae Then Mush (Steven Jones)
Dune Messiah = Nude Is Shame (Phil Baringer)
F&SF COMPETITION #89
Write a limerick based on the plot (or world or character) of an sf/f story. Make it rhyme, make it funny, and make it no more than six entries. Then you too can win a prize. For the love of all that is holy (or unholy. We don't judge), include your snail mail address.
Example: Robert E. Howard's Conan stories:
Her bare bosom suddenly fell
Conan, surprised, said, "Oh hell!
My sexual power
Has damaged this flower!"
(She had really passed out from the smell.)
Note: Please do NOT submit your entry through certified mail. Just…don't.
Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or email entries
to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net.
Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by January 15, 2015.
Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.
First prize will receive a copy of The New Annotated H.P. Lovecraft, edited by Leslie S. Klinger (compliments of Liveright Publishing Corp.).
Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels.
Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF.
Results of Competition 89 will appear in the May/June 2015 issue.