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RESULTS OF F&SF COMPETITION #90

"Game of Prose"


GEORGE R.R. Martin hasn't finished his famous A Song of Ice and Fire series, but in this recent competition, his fans have. Let's just say you probably won't see these finales in print. Note: I almost reached out to GRRM to enter the competition, but I didn't want to take even a minute out of his writing schedule.

A shout-out to all the competitors who used the old "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids" line. Great minds think alike, even if they don't win any prizes.

 
FIRST PRIZE:
They feasted on jellied calf-brain soup, honeyed chicken, and black bread with three wheels of Pentoshi cheese. To the left of Tyrion was Queen Sansa, First of Her Name. Blood oranges and Dornish plums were arranged in the shape of a direwolf, dripping with juices of sweetblood.
Dinner had come.
—Dan Koifman
Brooklyn, NY

 
SECOND PRIZE:
On the steps of Baelor's Sept, King Jon finished his speech to thunderous applause. Grand Maester Tarly, his voice cracking with excitement, called out, "You know everything, Jon Snow!"
—Mark Grizzard
Peoria, IL

 
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
And they all lived happily ever after.
Just kidding. Arya killed them all.
—Alastair Smith
Hawick, Scottish Borders, Scotland

 
The wildlings all danced when Daenerys landed her dragon on the Wicked Red Queen. Daenerys and her little dog Reek followed the King's Road to Wester-Oz. Along the way she met Hodor, who finally found his brain, Cowardly Sam, and Jamie the Gold Man. Brandon showed her the way home.
—Nancy Weed
Portland, OR

 
It was all over now, thought Bran, and—[Hi folks! George here. The last paragraph turned out a bit longer than I anticipated, so I've split it off into one more book. Almost done, I promise!]
—Sarah Denes
Durham, NC

 
DISHONORABLE MENTION:
Hodor. Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor.
Hodor!
Hodor?
Hodor...
—Samuel Montgomery-Blinn
Durham, NC

 

F&SF COMPETITION #91

IT'S ALL RELATIVE

Even though geek culture has spread far and wide, we still encounter people who don't know what an FTL drive is. Or think a "muggle" is something that happens down a dark alley. And I don't know about you, but these people are members of my own family. So for Competition #91, we want you to describe the plot of a famous science fiction/fantasy story—as retold by a clueless but well-meaning relative.

EXAMPLE
Dune by Frank Herbert
It's about a guy who is destined to sell cardamom and ginger to the Bedouins.

 
In fifty words or less, give us up to six entries (either in one email/letter or six separate ones, it makes no difference). The funnier and more off-the-wall, the better. Bonus: If you ask an actual relative, your entry may write itself.

Remember to include your snail mail address, people!

 

 
RULES:
Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or email entries to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net. Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by January 15, 2016. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.
PRIZES:
First prize will receive a signed, limited edition copy of Reality by Other Means: The Best Short Fiction of James Morrow (compliments of Wesleyan University Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of Competition 91 will appear in the July/August 2016 issue.

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